All my life I’ve lived with dogs. I am a certified; or, at times certifiable, dog person.

As we’ll gladly tell you, dog owners are a special breed of people. We willingly share our home with an animal descendant of the prehistoric wolf, that has the attention span of a toddler, no concept of personal space; and believes that if they roll in it, lick it, or piss on it ownership has auto transferred to them.

Still, I can’t imagine my world without a canine companion by my side.

They’ve become a part of every aspect of my life; and they’ve taught me a lot about their doggy world as well. Here are a few favorite lessons from my Facebook comic; It’s Ruff.

Sit. Stay. Laugh.

 

First things first, Your bed, is not your bed.

 

 

To drive home that point; they will never feel obligated to move.

 

 

Secondly, your food, is not your food.

 

 

Keep in mind; the force is strong with them.

 

 

They have changed the game on us.

 

 

Also, it’s ok to exploit weakness if it’s for food.

 

 

And while we’re on the subject, it’s important to note; their eating habits are fairly questionable.

 

 

Let’s be clear: Rain is not an option.

 

 

Wet grass is also nonnegotiable.

 

 

Any fear is justifiable. You cannot win on this one.

 

 

When combatted with a loud noise, make noise of equal or greater loudness. This is a common defense mechanism.

 

 

A word of caution: Gifts can backfire.

 

 

Another word of caution: They’re the jealous type.

 

 

A final word of caution: Staying out too late has its consequences.

 

 

Something to point out; Halloween isn’t really their thing.

 

 

Also something to point out: Your actions make no sense to them.

 

 

Make peace with the fact that they are creatures of habit.

 

 

And lastly; they know. They always know.

 

 

Proven fact: A dog can and will drive you crazy at any given moment; without warning or care of timing. They’ll treat your home as their personal running track; and chew whatever fits in their mouth (Sometimes it doesn’t even fit in their mouth. Sometimes they chew holes in walls…yes, walls.)

And your pillow? No, that’s their bed.

They’ll dig up your garden, ruin your carpet, and present a sense of self entitlement regarding any food you’re trying to eat.

They will systematically reconstruct your world to revolve around theirs. And they will succeed.

But then; they’ll give you that puppy dog look you remember gazing upon when the two of you first met (that’s their superpower). Your eyes lock and a smile inevitably and uncontrollably surfaces.

Here comes the overbearing pounce followed by a wet nose & kisses that soak your face; and it’s all over. You love them. And you could never not love them. They win & you’re ok with that.

And they’re so spoiled aren’t they? But deservingly so. Yes they’ve got it good. And we’ve got it ruff.