I really loved Easter as a child & always had a pretty hoppy eggsperience. Still, there are a few tips I gathered through my childhood years that would’ve been very bunnyficial to know from the get go. If I could go back, this is the Easter wisdom I’d impart on my kid-self.
1. Dogs like Easter egg hunts too. (To you, you’re hiding eggs to find later. To a dog, you’ve just willingly abandoned food.)
2. A colored egg does not necessarily mean it’s a cooked egg.
3. A black jelly bean is not blackberry flavored. It is crap flavored. Do not accept them in trade.
4. Marshmallow peeps are not peeps and are not marshmallow. They look like yellow sugar turds & make great door stops.
5. Candy is a very tempting commodity:
a. If you have siblings, watch your basket.
b. If you have dogs, watch your basket.
c. If you have parents, watch your basket.
d. Always watch your basket.
6. If you’re having trouble finding eggs, look for the kid that’s making a bee line, and just be faster than that kid. I’m not saying it’s ethical; I’m just saying, it works.
7. When attempting to remove from the basket, Easter grass can magically multiply like bunnies.
8. Biting the ears off of a chocolate bunny is very satisfying; especially if the chocolate bunny belongs to someone else.
9. If you get any Russell Stover eggs that have the word “maple” on the label; throw them out, they taste like wood.
10. And the most important bit of information I can share with you: Mall Easter Bunnies are creepy.