SURE, BLAME THE DOG

Ladies & Gentlemen; Pets everywhere:

I bring to you today a very sad but very real truth:

Stupid people can own dogs.

(Yes they can have children too, but that’s for another rant entirely.)

 

What’s worse, is that those dogs with the stupid owners get a bad rap. Stupid by proxy. Dumb by association. And they’re called “bad dogs” for having these stupid owners. They get handed to these halfwits, thrown out into the world with no compass; only misguided trust…a side effect of their domesticated DNA telling them:

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There’s no instruction manual that comes with a dog, no owner is expected to take a class. (At least when stupid people are having a baby either they or someone they know will bring up the contemplation of “Er yew gunna take-a class?”)

You don’t have to know SH!T & can own a dog. And those dogs, get a crash course in the real world harshness of “I have no clue what this human wants & he sucks balls at telling me”.

 

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If you decide on bringing something into your world that will impact your day to day life; how do you not educate yourself on the subject?

 

That’s just like people who own vehicles & don’t know their basic parts & maintenance. You OWN about a TWO TON piece of machinery that you operate, in public, daily, around people, fast…and you don’t know how it works? ………

I don’t sleep well at night…..I digress…back to the rant at hand…

 

Say it with me Readers:

There is no such thing as a “bad dog”; only bad owners…who are stupid.

Thank you.

 

Dogs can’t help the way they act if that’s all they know.

T H E Y ’ R E   D O G S.

 

In their mind, they live in dog world by dog rules.

daisy-dog-final1-blogOnly problem is…

 

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They don’t.

 

They live in people world with people rules. They’re out of their natural element. Domesticated, yes…but it’s still not natural. Don’t kid yourself.

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They are expected to act appropriate & well-mannered in our world by the stupid owners & everyone else.

If one doesn’t take the time to teach & train them on how they are expected to behave; then how, pray tell, does one imagine dogs learn to behave?

Automatically?

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 Nope.

 

Because you’re yelling at them?

 

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Wrong again.

 

Need a hint? I’ll make it crystalPeople own dogs & as such those dogs are under the care & protection of those people. Therefore it stands to reason that people must be held responsible in order to ensure their well-being. Radical concept, I know, but go with me on this…

Part of that, is teaching & training. That’s how it’s done. You don’t just run out & get a dog & it’s all

TA DA!

NO. You actually have to teach & train.

Yes, I know. But I assure you it’s true.

Having a dog means *GASP* WORK! The ultimate four letter word!

 

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(I weep for your current and/or future children if this is you.)

No, she doesn’t think she’s a human. She knows she’s a dog; and she’s pretty sure you’re an idiot.

 

 

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Go set yourself on fire. Seriously. Go.

 IMHO these knuckle draggers are the WORST of the stupid owners. They only get dogs for one single pure selfish purpose:

To show off how “macho” they are for having a “BIG MEAN INTIMIDATING DOG.” Meh meh meh

 They perpetuate the negative energy forced on certain breeds by association; unraveling the very fiber of what it truly means to have man’s best friend by your side.

Those types of dog owners, need to be kicked in the head; REPEATEDLY. Then set on fire.

And seriously dudes…If you make it clearly obvious that you’re compensating…well; then it’s clearly obvious that you’re compensating. ….Just saying.

But if you must, there are other ways you know….Like…

Why not get a loud truck, obnoxiously painted orange, with plastic blue testicles dangling from the rear bumper hitch, some shaky ass distorted woofers that sound like you captured a bunch of angry bees & shoved them into your cab, & a sticker of Calvin pissing on the logo of whatever model of truck you aren’t currently driving.

How’s that? Sound about right? Go buy a vehicle…an inanimate object that won’t be hurt by you or be in your wake when you have that single, earth shattering revelation hit your tiny brain hole:

No one cares.

Do that & be done with it.

DO NOT GET A DOG.

 

Stupid people can own dogs….smh…

 

Here’s some forced, unsolicited advice:

– Get a dog because you want to enrich an animal’s life & have it enrich yours.

– Be aware & be ready. Read up.

– Ask yourself the hard questions. Research the good, bad, & ugly.

– Be informed how to care & live with them for a good long time. Know what you’re getting into so you know if that’s what you want to be getting into.

– At the end of it all, if you’re still excited & thrilled with the idea of having a furry companion that will piss everywhere, eat other animals’ crusted lawn poo, & love you to itty bitty reesey pieceys despite you being a flawed human…Go for it! Seriously, they truly are worth it.

 

If you take anything away with you let it be this:

Training your dog is one of the best ways to give them love, security, & a sense of pack hierarchy which nurtures stability, guidance, & a feeling of protection; & they’ll have a better life for it.

Oh, and never forget the importance of a good snuggle.

 

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